This is the first chapter of something I started writing three years ago and I eventually abandoned. But I still think it may be re-worked and continued once I’m finished with my other projects.
What do you think? Leave me a comment if you like it, love it or hate it and if you want more.
It is funny how all those obstacles that stop you from having a good time when you’re adult have a very little impact on you as a kid.
I almost laughed bitterly as I sat on the soaked bench and stared at the two boys on the basketball court. They were covered in mud from head to toe and the shorter one had a pretty bad wound on his right knee with blood gushing from it down to his stained shoes. The T-shirts were hanging low on their bodies, completely drenched and ruined because of the dirt and grass stains.
But none of that mattered for them right at that instant. I brushed the wet hair behind my ear and kept watching how those pre-teen kids were chasing the ball with the ferocity of young predators. Maybe I’m just being a drama queen and they are far away from me to be sure… but their eyes seem to exude the onset of what will turn into cruelty. That dangerous little flame starts as simple competition and is constantly fueled by ambition and jealousy.
It gradually consumes you.
Aren’t we all thrilled to be on top?
It is all fun and games now but what would become of them as they age, the hormones flood their system and the need to prove their superiority overcomes them? I can no longer bear to look at them, to listen to the aggressive screams as they score so I bury my face in my hands pressing my nails to my skin.
Where are the damned tears when I need them?
Unfortunately, my own wrath has caught me too strongly by the throat and every thought passing through my exhausted brain is uglier than its predecessor.
How did we get here?
As we were growing up Dominic and I were in a constant battle with each other. To be honest, that competition was always provoked by him and his challenging ways. My elder brother always knew how to push my buttons so he would make me fight him. Naturally, I was the quiet one and paled in comparison with his expansive nature. Somehow I’m convinced that even when he was at the nursery he had found a way to impose his authority over the other infants. He was a perfect leader in every way. I am not a small man by any standards but his well-toned six-pack, broad shoulders and lean musculature always made me feel inadequate.
Dominic was handsome, charming, smooth talker and much more cunning than one would initially give him credit for. My brother needed just five minutes stay at any audience, crowd or circle in order to capture their attention. His place was definitely in the spotlight, to lead and enchant people with his rich, deep voice. Seriously, I spent the first nineteen years of my life sleeping at the same room with him and I don’t think I ever saw a single fault in him. Dominic was a star athlete, academic prodigy and could do anything he set his mind on.
Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change my place with him and was not envious of his status as the golden boy in any way. If I ever received so much attention I would need to use some serious medicines to overcome my anxiety. Crowds of people scare me, large parties overwhelm my senses. If I really concentrate I can handle my share of public speaking but I’d be shaking like a leaf after that. The mass love and admiration held no appeal to me and would push me way out of my comfort zone. Perhaps that attitude may come across as fake modesty but that was how I felt.
I’d be more than happy to have just a few friends who were kindred spirits and whom I could talk about anything with. He was changing his girlfriend every week, convinced he could find “someone of better quality”. As corny as it sound all I wanted was just one woman in whose eyes to find all the answers. Silly, right? Dominic would laugh heartily at such statements of mine, that was part of his mind games.
Above all, if it were up to me, I’d never even try to compete with my miracle of a brother. I’d be pleased to stay in his shadow, dedicate to my own life, hobbies and passions. I was
willing to let him be the king of the world and not question his dominance.
Maybe that was what drove him wild. Dominic needed to conquer and if the object of his desires surrendered too easily it was a way too easy victory for him. Therefore just the silent acceptance of his younger brother wouldn’t do.
It all started with simple provocations, open doubt in my masculinity, my battle spirit and abilities in general. I may be an introvert but I am not a pushover so I always fell for his traps. The first time when I couldn’t hold back any longer and darted at him ready for a fight Dominic smiled at me in such an openly sadistic manner that my blood chilled. All of my fury was gone and I came to my senses just when I felt his blow on my chin, how my jaw stung. After it was over and both of us were punished he would not stop smiling in the same way. It was a rather bloody fight and each one of us got their share of bruises. And still, that asshole was smiling as if he had won a prize! His deep blue eyes always look so much darker when he is gloating, so convinced that he will always be better and stronger. I couldn’t just stand in the corner anymore.
Only later in life, I realized how I had been his puppet all my life. Each time I responded to his challenge, when I changed my plans just to show him I could bite back, I was actually obeying. Even when I felt most proud with myself for not putting up with his bad attitude all that I accomplished was to give him pleasure. I joined the heavy athletics team because Dominic said I was too weak and girly for that and I couldn’t compare with real men. I followed at every risk activity he was suggesting just so that I would not give him an occasion to call me a sissy. Extreme sports, climbing, wild parties, pranks. I’d get in trouble and almost ruin myself with the desperate need to catch up with Dominic.
To be perfectly fair I can’t say that this experience and all of his challenges were entirely negative to my upbringing. That period at the sports helped me achieve a higher level of personal discipline. I risked to get detoured from what I really wanted to do in life but I’d be a hypocritical bastard if I said it wasn’t a teaching experience. I learned to face my fears and not let them control me. The everlasting battle with my brother increased my ambition and made me want more.
Last but not least even the most dangerous activities he planned were such that I would never allow myself in different circumstances. Perhaps if I had a lesser inner strength I’d let him destroy me however I succeeded in growing up. That was actually what Dominic was constantly emphasizing on the rare occasions when we discussed our childhood.
“If it weren’t for me you would never be half the man you are now. I made you and you should be proud with yourself.”
As he was saying that the sadistic smile never reached his eyes.
According to many Dominic was my personal benefactor, the big brother who always took care that I would become more than the shy, quiet kid with love of music, ballet and choreography. Probably if he hadn’t felt the need to raise the stakes I’d be somehow grateful to him for pushing my limits.
However, as soon as we both developed a passion for the fair sex Dominic didn’t stop and had no qualms to seduce every girl I liked. Whenever I confronted him he’d innocently state that I probably should not be such a pussy and then those girls would come to me instead of him.
Hiding my affections didn’t help since my brother knew me way too well. That was also the one area in which I couldn’t beat him no matter how hard I tried. Just one look of his
romantic, mischievous eyes, a dazzling smile and the right naughty pickup line whispered in the chosen female’s ear were enough to melt the panties off her crotch.
What chance did I stand against him? Even his jilted girlfriends were more interested in getting him back rather than getting revenge for using and leaving them behind.
Dominic was highly imaginative when it came to ways of torturing me. Accidentally being there at the movie theater just as I was bringing my date there was his top
favorite trick. By the end of the film, the girl was swooning over him and appeared ready to get down on her knees and suck him if he was so much as suggested it. Usually a few nights later he’d bring the same girl at our place and ask me “politely” to get the fuck out of our shared room. On those occasions when our parents were away for the weekend, I would have to turn the volume of Wagner and Edvard Grieg in my headphones to the maximum. That was the only way I wouldn’t listen to her ecstatic moans of lust as my brother was fucking her upstairs. It took me all of my strength not to just shoot them both.
You’d say why I didn’t leave? The need to prove that I can’t be affected by him turned me into an emotional masochist.
Eventually, I tried to come to terms with the fact he’d always have the upper hand when it came to women. All that was left for me was to start counting down the days until the moment he would graduate and move out. Perhaps then I’d finally be free to build my own world without Dominic The Great and Mighty’s influence. His presence was proving to be too much for my sanity and I was suffocated by his overbearing personality. I only allowed myself to shed tears of relief after he was gone.
The war was finally over.
Of course, we were family and were bound to keep in touch but life took us in different directions. I was free to pursue my own goals and dedicate fully to ballet choreography – my lust and passion ever since our mother took us to Swan Lake when we were very young. Above all, I could do that without fear of mockery. The following years were like a dream come true. No matter that I wasted a lot of time at high school I succeeded to be admitted at the college that was my first choice. Finally I found myself in an environment at which people shared my interests. The freedom that came with it seemed to release that tension that I’ve been building inside me all my life. Or maybe it was the fact that I no longer had to worry about my amazing brother. I can’t say that I turned from a shy introvert into the life and soul of the party. However I felt a lot more liberated in my communication with people. For the first time in my life I had genuine friends, I worked on projects that I loved and the future seemed bright.
I should have been surprised when I learned that Dominic decided to pursue career in music himself. Maybe I give my own persona too much importance but I often wondered whether that wasn’t his ultimate challenge, to show me how he could beat me at any level, even in my world. But of course, he had zero interest in being just an interpreter or part of the process. Dominic had to be on top, at the spotlight, leading and never following. I tried to keep my thoughts away from him and didn’t even attempt at checking up on him. However his reputation as an orchestra conductor was not something I could ignore. It was natural that he’d be a God in whatever field he chose.
Some mean, jealous part of me had always hoped he’d be a typical case of prodigy kid who never lived up to his potential. Dominic was maturing like the fine wine, though. The only time I was seeing him was during the obligatory Christmas holidays, a great test to my patience and acting skills. I don’t know if it was just me or he really was getting more impressive with every passing year. Dominic could choose a job at
almost every prestigious orchestra all over the world and he was barely twenty seven at the time. That was about the time when he got engaged to Claire.
The first time I met my brother’s future wife I was convinced I was talking to a porcelain statue. The second thought that went through my brain was that I could not believe even Dominic was capable of winning over a woman like her. Claire was five years his senior and one of the most promising pianists for the last decade, a rising star. Those who were lucky enough to attend her concerts claimed she played like an angel and was virtuoso at her area. Just this year she had won the first award at the International Tchaikovsky Competition.
When I heard that they were dating I had the instant fear that my brother would not handle being with a renowned musician like her. He’d try to suffocate her and make her submit entirely to him and his persona. But as soon as I laid my eyes on Claire I knew that he’d had a hard time doing so. Her gray, serious eyes exuded authority and quiet strength. The impeccable manners, regal beauty and vast erudition she showed made me think that she’d be done with Dominic and move on to a better specimen. I have obviously underestimated my brother’s ambition because I got a wedding invitation just six months after.
However, by that time, I couldn’t care less about Dominic and his private life. I had just gotten my first job as a junior choreographer and was busy to make a name for myself. I
probably wouldn’t have stood a chance at even getting an interview invitation if it weren’t for Claire and her recommendation.
When I tried to thank her at her wedding reception she just shook her head, looking as enigmatic as always.
“They wouldn’t choose you if it weren’t for your abilities. You have only yourself to thank. I just made a phone call.” She gave me her usual vague smile and
wished me the best of luck.
As my brother’s wife was walking away the light fabric of her dress brushed against me and I felt her perfume for an instant. That was probably the only time when I sensed a desire for that woman and it lasted as long as her sweet fragrance lingered on me.
I have improved my confidence when it came to women though part of me was still wounded because of my brother’s shenanigans. Up to that moment, I am unable to bring my girlfriend to the movies out of fear Dominic would show up out of some dark corner to steal her away from me. As silly as it may be it took me ages to get over the sense of inferiority. I had been lucky to date some great girls over the years who were probably more patient than I deserved. However, I really lacked genuine passion and that ultimately led to the failure of most of my relationships.
The ballerinas I worked with every day were petite and cute, as well as determined to succeed. They’d often flirt with me or try to win my good graces. The paranoia that I may be used and cast aside once they got they wanted were putting an obstacle to the natural attraction I felt. Not that I was above having a one night stand with a pretty girl. However, I was smart enough to know it was never simply about pleasure and that lust has its consequences. All of my doubts evaporated the moment I looked at Laura, one of the new recruits at the ballet company.
Her beauty and innocence captured me from the first moment when she entered
for rehearsal that day two years ago. It was impossible not to get affected by that fairy-like creature and her radiance. Her long black hair was tied in a bun and it revealed her pretty face and large green eyes framed by long lashes. She was just as slender as the rest of the girls but my experienced eyes could trace the way her body curved so subtly. It would feel perfect to have her light frame on top of me so I could admire every change of her facial expression as my cock slid into her.
I imagined that such a small woman’s slit would close around me like a vice of the softest silk, coated by her arousal juices. I must have appeared like the biggest idiot ever the first time I spoke with her. The words suddenly seemed to have escaped my vocabulary. Maybe because my brain was fully consumed by her celestial presence. Just the way she smiled was enough to get me semi-hard, to my greatest dismay. It took me ages to ask her out and as I was uttering my invitation I swear I could hear Dominic’s sarcastic voice in my ear. It was as if he literally was right behind my shoulder. Probably the most difficult challenge in my life was to learn how to ignore him. Yet my passion for Laura was enough to make me grit my teeth and dive into the unknown. It took me a few minutes to fully comprehend she accepted and that her sweet smile wasn’t one of mockery. Laura laughed at my bewilderment and said in a somehow purring voice that I looked cute when I was flabbergasted.
The following year was the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. Dating one of the dancers was tricky but somehow I found the balance and tried to be as objective as possible. I was drunk with youthful love and that inspired me to give my best at all times. Perhaps it was pathetic to feel that way in my late twenties but I never experienced anything like my relationship with Laura. She was an angel in every aspect. Apart from her obvious beauty, she was also smart and witty. She could hold her end of the conversation and was very passionate about her work. At the time my girlfriend came across as a bit naive but that was what I loved about her. Whenever I looked at her deeply set eyes it struck me how vulnerable she appeared and I felt the need to hold and protect her, to keep her safe and happy.
The idea of being a woman’s first never held much appeal to me but the moment when Laura confessed she was a virgin some invisible barer inside me broke. I was flooded by a wave of tenderness, arousal, and fear. I’d still want her whether she was “pure” or not. Still, the fact that I could leave my mark on her, to make her mine and teach her everything she needed to know about sex completely blew my mind. It took me some time to come to my senses and find her leaning on my chest, sobbing quietly out of excitement shortly after she said it would be her first time. My hard cock was pressing to
her leg, she was so close and all I had to do was spread her legs, push her panties aside and put it in her virgin pussy.
However, my Laura deserved better. So I kissed her lips and embraced her small body till her trembling subsided and she stopped crying. As ashamed I as am but the taste of
her tears when I pressed my lips to her face and the fact that she was so vulnerable at that moment made my cock painfully hard. However, I could endure a little ache and discomfort. I gritted my teeth and whispered in her ear I’d make her first time memorable.
But I had to be well prepared. Laura said she was ready for me to take her whenever I wanted but I would not have any of this. I was genuinely sick with the idea that she was offering herself so generously out of fear I may end up leaving her if we didn’t have sex. So my ultimate goal was to make sure that during that first night she’d be drenched, gasping and begging me to take her virginity, that it would leave a permanent impact in her lifeline rather than quick, rough hymen tearing.
Now that I think back on it some of the details were cheesy as hell. Perhaps I was the one who enjoyed it a lot more than she did. Perhaps.
Laura threaded on the pathway covered in white and rose petals leading to the queen sized bed at the hotel room I booked. Her hair was draping down her shoulders like a heavy curtain, in contrast with the white, flowing knee-length dress with thin straps. Her small yet appetizing bust was raised and enhanced by the design of the attire she chose. I rested on my elbows staring at that vision of beauty, not believing how lucky I was to be her first. The way she blushed and looked down, how she was making those
small steps, like a shy kitten that I intended to turn into a tigress.
All those small things were causing the blood rush straight to my already semi-hard penis. The dress looked amazing on her but it would look even better cast aside at the scattered flower petals. I resisted the urge to tear it off her body and reached out to help her climb next to me, holding her elegant fingers tenderly. I kissed her and slid the straps down her forearms, touching every inch of her beautiful skin with as much attention as if I were handling a very delicate flower.
My mouth peppered her cheeks, lips and shoulders. The pulse in her neck tangibly picked its pace when I ran my tongue down it. Meanwhile, my fingers revealed more inches of her creamy breasts, stripping her slowly and enjoying every instant of that slow reveal. Laura was already moaning and panting, begging me not to stop. In spite of her lack of experience my girl appeared to be naturally sensual. Every small touch made her shiver and press closer to me.
To my surprise she picked my hand and pressed it between her thighs over the dress. That should have alerted my usually anxious mind but I was about to make love to my dream girl. I could throw caution to the wind. I latched my mouth around her nipple and sucked it slowly causing her to cry out and insist she couldn’t take it anymore. I wonder if I appeared like Dominic at that instant when I raised my head to face her and pulled her dress down her thin thighs.
“We are barely starting, baby.” I enjoyed the way her body writhed and in how much agony Laura was. She remained almost naked before my hungry eyes. I had stripped her to her white lace panties, transparent and revealing her shaved mound. When I ran my fingertips over the flimsy fabric and slid my tongue to her other nipple she let out a loud moan raising her hips so I would touch her more.
“What are you doing with me?” My girl whispered softly and opened her amazing eyes as I pinned her down kissing down her stomach. I left a humid trail of soft kisses and shining film of spit on her skin, just like an explorer taking his first step in the unknown forests. What a fool. My tongue gathered her juices through the panties, which caused more protests to escape her lips at that slow build up I was putting her through.
I pushed my thumbs at the waistband and slid them down as Laura cried in need. “ Greg,
please, take me, I’m ready…”
“Shhh…” I nibbled tenderly at her inner thighs and stroke her waistline. Some of these days I would show her what real teasing meant. I’ve entertained the thought of tying her and exploring that innocent vulnerability but it was still too early. “You haven’t earned it yet.” I slid a finger to her folds and pressed them till she shivered. It was shocking how easy to arouse Laura was. I imagined I’d have to take more serious efforts to make her wet. My lips studied every inch of exposed skin and sucked it slightly leaving wet mark at the bottom of her belly. The cute mewling sounds just encouraged me not to take mercy and keep my slow assault on her body. “Keep still.”
I murmured and ran my hands down the small orbs of her little ass, amazed at how perfectly it fit my palms. The enthusiasm overwhelmed me and I pulled her panties down with my teeth breathing in her fragrance. Perhaps I was exaggerating but the moment when her pearl-like body was revealed in its full glory I fell in my own version of heaven. When my hands parted her thighs even further so I would lick her peach of a pussy the juices flowed down my tongue, completely overhwelming me. She clearly enjoyed herself and as soon as I felt those slender yet surprisingly strong legs clamp around my head I started sucking her clit harder.
If it were with another lover I’d probably dare to probe her tiny asshole yet I wanted the night to be special. Laura’s comfort and pleasure were on top of my priorities. There’d be plenty of time ahead of us. My tongue pushed in her tight slit as gradually as I could without causing her discomfort. I never felt such internal confrontation as that night. I both wanted to make it a night of endless pleasure for my girl and to devour her, to find my own ecstasy.
She winced as my finger rubbed her tiny clit and pressed it hard as I was eating her out. Laura’s words were incoherent and low, high and and clear, constantly changing. She screamed and raised her hips so that my tongue would sink deeper in her honey pot. If it were up to me I’d probably spend the entire evening buried between her thighs, making her cum again and again till her body was fully exhausted.
Oh, well, that is a lie, I longed to be inside her, to make sweet love to her and fuck her
brains off. Maybe that was the reason I postponed the moment when I’d finally put my cock in that impossibly tight pussy. I didn’t trust myself that I wouldn’t just ravage Laura and use her for my pleasure instead of making the experience all about her.
“Greg, please, please…” She moaned and begged me grabbing a lock of my hair in her small fist. “Make love to me.” I caressed her butt cheeks and kissed her clit hoping that I would not allow my basic instincts to take over me. Laura ran her hands down my back when I moved up her body to kiss her and give her a taste of her own sweet
juices. My fingers opened her narrow vagina and tried to feel their way, to make space so I would sink inside more naturally. However then I felt her tender hand on top of mine.
“Please…” Her voice was one of a scared virgin and sensual temptress at once. “Put it inside me, make me a real woman.” I should have been shocked and taken aback by the sudden eagerness of the girl who cried in my arms. But I was so horny and have been longing for her way too long to question her. The steel hard tip spread her swollen labia and my loud grunt joined her moans. My hands were clutching hers and I never stopped kissing her and whispering sweet nothings against her lips as I entered her tight womb for the first time. It was beautiful. Hearing her moans as she was waking up from the dream of virginity and embracing me as her teacher, lover and leader increased the haze in my brain. Slowly, almost under her command, I picked up the pace and what started as smooth, sensual lovemaking grew much more passionate, close to rough sex.
Laura kept me between her legs and hissed like a cat, urging me to go faster. My face was buried at the crook of her neck and I licked her skin while my torso rubbed against her petite tis. I grabbed her hand and pressed her fingertips to her clit before I uttered a soft command. “ Cum for me, beautiful. Now.” Our foreheads were pressed and she stared up at me with such intense lust and sweet innocence that I almost filled her pussy right on the spot.
Laura whimpered and kissed my lips whispering how much she loved me. The look on her face at what I believed was a true orgasm was etched in my memory, just as that sweet music of her voice.
She squeezed her pussy and screamed, which caused her entire body to vibrate against me. Having saved my cum for such a long time I couldn’t wait too long. I pulled my cock out and painted her flat stomache with thick ropes of cum, coating it like body lotion. I grunted hard squeezing my cock and closed my eyes unable to handle all that denied pleasure. Finally, I fell on my back and pulled Laura in my arms placing a small kiss on top of her head.
It was the most amazing night of my life. It never occurred to me to question the lack of virgin blood that night. As much as I wanted her for myself my personality was never that possessive. Plenty of the ballet dancers broke their hymen while doing side splits so I just assumed that was the case with Laura. The presence of a strip of skin between her legs appeared insignificant. I should have known it was too good to be true but at that moment happiness had taken away my ability to assess facts critically.
If I only knew what was to follow.